Most of us are familiar with guilt; be it through a feeling of wrongdoing, or as a driver for something we ‘ought’ to do. When either of these experiences takes hold the result is a cocktail of resentment, blame and power struggles. If our reaction is to: attack, or rescue and placate, or take […]
The other day flying back from a trip I overheard two interesting arguments that got stuck in blame with no understanding for either side. We had been waiting at the gate at the appointed boarding time for over half an hour with no announcements and no signs of life from ground staff. Frustration and anxiety […]
Sometimes when I say that I teach conflict resolution the response is a quizzical look as the person waits for me to explain. Or perhaps they’re just looking at me funny and I still haven’t got the hint! So what does conflict resolution (CR) actually mean? And what effective tools does it provide for interpersonal […]
An apology is often regarded as providing closure to a conflict situation. But how it’s done and the reasons for giving it can either bring about resolution or further resentment. So what constitutes an authentic apology and why? And how can it be delivered effectively? One’s definition of an apology, like one’s attitude to conflict, […]
Two days ago, under the media’s spotlight, Argentinian President Cristina Kirchner handed David Cameron an envelope containing documents regarding the sovereignty of the Falklands/Malvinas. Cameron refused the document having been advised that it was a ‘media stunt’. His reaction has caused a political and diplomatic backlash of harsh words and ‘vigorous’ statements (Cameron’s word). In […]
Our minds can race faster than a Ferrari Testa Rossa! Our assumptions are triggers in conflict. How we see life, ourselves and others can create, escalate or de-escalate a situation. A thought can take hold and before we know it, it’s overtaken our thinking. Such thoughts are often based on suppositions we take as ‘fact’. […]
THE BLAME-GAME: why and how it happens, its impact on our self-esteem and how to disengage. When things go wrong at work, with someone in the service industry, socially or at home, we engage in a blame-game to defend our shaken self-esteem. As our instinctual reaction to defend ourselves kicks in, we remain locked in […]
WE HAVE A LOT MORE IN COMMON THAN WE THINK, EVEN WHEN WE ARGUE Even with the best intentions, certain issues can lead to arguments. When this happens we can become impatient and defensive, we feel not heard and believe that we are worlds apart from agreeing. Even in the most difficult of conflicts, there […]
Conflict Resolution is the process used to resolve dispute through dialogue. Its aim is for the parites to gain mutual understanding of needs, perceptions, values and interests, in order to reach a ‘win-win’ and long-lasting resolution. Conflict Resolution is commonly regarded as an umbrella term that incorporates mediation, arbitration and negotiation, among others. Despite this consensus, it is actually a process […]
