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Conflict Resolution

HOW IS SILENCE USED IN CONFLICT: AS TIME-OUT OR AS A POSITION? WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEIR EFFECTS ON ITS RESOLUTION?

One’s relationship to silence is very personal. One may feel comfortable or uncomfortable with it. There are those who feel the need to fill the empty spaces with words and those who are happy for silence to fall naturally. Silence can bond or divide. It can be a pause, a breath one takes in a […]

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FORGIVENESS RELEASES US FROM ANY RESENTMENT WE MAY STILL HOLD; BUT WHAT ARE THE COSTS AND GAINS OF FORGIVING ANOTHER?

“Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future” Paul Boese Forgiveness means letting go of resentment and retaliation by recognizing that perpetuating the conflict only hurts us more. While an authentic apology can be effective in restoring interpersonal relations, forgiveness goes one step further; it enables healing and allows each person […]

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WHAT MAKES AN APOLOGY AUTHENTIC AND EFFECTIVE AS A RESOLUTION OF CONFLICT?

An apology is often regarded as providing closure to a conflict situation. But how it’s done and the reasons for giving it can either bring about resolution or further resentment. So what constitutes an authentic apology and why? And how can it be delivered effectively? One’s definition of an apology, like one’s attitude to conflict, […]

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WANT TO TALK? CHECK YOUR TIMING AND ULTIMATUMS – THE INTERNATIONAL ARENA IS AGOOD MIRROR OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT.

Two days ago, under the media’s spotlight, Argentinian President Cristina Kirchner handed David Cameron an envelope containing documents regarding the sovereignty of the Falklands/Malvinas. Cameron refused the document having been advised that it was a ‘media stunt’. His reaction has caused a political and diplomatic backlash of harsh words and ‘vigorous’ statements (Cameron’s word). In […]

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARGUE PART IV: SELF-ESTEEM AND CLEAR COMMUNICATION

Self-esteem is a determining factor in all communication, as core personal beliefs can come into play with or without our conscious knowledge. When they do, we may feel like we’ve lost our ‘centre’ and be quick to react to what is happening. These beliefs are assumptions we have made about ourselves, others and life in general […]

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARGUE PART III: WHAT ASSUMPTIONS ARE WE MAKING AND WHY?

Our minds can race faster than a Ferrari Testa Rossa! Our assumptions are triggers in conflict. How we see life, ourselves and others can create, escalate or de-escalate a situation. A thought can take hold and before we know it, it’s overtaken our thinking. Such thoughts are often based on suppositions we take as ‘fact’. […]

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARGUE PART II

THE BLAME-GAME: why and how it happens, its impact on our self-esteem and how to disengage. When things go wrong at work, with someone in the service industry, socially or at home, we engage in a blame-game to defend our shaken self-esteem. As our instinctual reaction to defend ourselves kicks in, we remain locked in […]

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WHAT IS MEDIATION?

Essentially mediation is nothing more than a meeting in which the parties seek to resolve their differences with the help of an intermediary. Mediation is a voluntary, informal and confidential process and widely used as an alternative to litigation. While the greatest appeal of mediation is that it is cheaper and quicker than going to […]

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WHAT IS CONFLICT RESOLUTION?

Conflict Resolution is the process used to resolve dispute through dialogue.  Its aim is for the parites to gain mutual understanding of needs, perceptions, values and interests, in order to reach a ‘win-win’ and long-lasting resolution. Conflict Resolution is commonly regarded as an umbrella term that incorporates mediation, arbitration and negotiation, among others. Despite this consensus, it is actually a process […]

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You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” Buckminster Fuller.

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