Picture: Don Miguel Ruiz “The Four Agreements” It’s not always easy to be full of festive cheer when tense feelings lurk beneath the Christmas tree. Family gatherings can trigger old dynamics and emotions even when we feel we’ve personally resolved them. By responding differently, we can break patterns and turn a problem into an opportunity for understanding […]
Is resentment holding you back? What can you do to change the situation in a constructive and empowering way? Years ago, when I was adapting to the nuances of the English language, I asked a friend “Do you say: “to bear a grudge or ‘to bear grudge’?” (i.e. without the ‘a’) His answer: “It depends […]
Most of us are familiar with guilt; be it through a feeling of wrongdoing, or as a driver for something we ‘ought’ to do. When either of these experiences takes hold the result is a cocktail of resentment, blame and power struggles. If our reaction is to: attack, or rescue and placate, or take […]
The other day flying back from a trip I overheard two interesting arguments that got stuck in blame with no understanding for either side. We had been waiting at the gate at the appointed boarding time for over half an hour with no announcements and no signs of life from ground staff. Frustration and anxiety […]
Change: love it, hate it, want it, resist it; want it on our terms, at our pace . . . We all react differently, and our own reactions will vary depending on the circumstances, mood and people we’re interacting with. When we’re triggered, our communication style can become defensive, whether in a passive, passive-aggressive or […]
Don Miguel Ruiz “The Four Agreements.” It’s not always easy to be full of festive cheer when tense feelings lurk beneath the Christmas tree. Family gatherings can trigger old dynamics and emotions, even when we feel we’ve personally resolved them. By responding differently, we can break patterns and turn a problem into an opportunity for understanding and […]
Sometimes when I say that I teach conflict resolution the response is a quizzical look as the person waits for me to explain. Or perhaps they’re just looking at me funny and I still haven’t got the hint! So what does conflict resolution (CR) actually mean? And what effective tools does it provide for interpersonal […]
Like many I have been hugely saddened and horrified by events in Gaza. Throughout my reading and debates, on and off social sites, I noticed that there are three strands of opinions and information being shared. One supports and exacerbates the polarization of views and uses incendiary language and generalizations. Another seeks to breakdown those […]
Workplace environments are not always as inclusive as we would like them to be, and one or more of us may feel that we don’t quite fit in, or agree with the status quo. Consequently silence may feel like the easiest and safest option if there are fears of social or professional reprisal for voicing […]
The other day I happened to pass by a football game and saw someone kick the ball out of play. Instantly there were groans from the pitch and a loud and matter-of-fact “Sorry!” from the player concerned. I watched on as the ball was thrown back in and the players returned to their jobs. So […]
