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Conflict Resolution – work place training

Why do we use critical labels and how can we approach them constructively?

Bully; Arrogant; Loser; Taker Narcissist; Bi-polar; Victim, Addict “Middle-class”; “Working-class”; “Posh” *&%@! (Offensive words based on race, ethnicity, religion, sexuality and gender) “Terrorist Sympathiser”; “Terrorist” . . . They are all labels; used disparagingly, and frequently, in all areas life. They stigmatise, exclude, polarise, pigeonhole and stereotype. Labels exist, and will continue to exist – […]

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WHAT UNMET NEEDS ARE BEHIND BLAME? Example from a real life incident.  

The other day flying back from a trip I overheard two interesting arguments that got stuck in blame with no understanding for either side. We had been waiting at the gate at the appointed boarding time for over half an hour with no announcements and no signs of life from ground staff. Frustration and anxiety […]

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What defensive communication style do you adopt to change interpersonal relations?

Change: love it, hate it, want it, resist it; want it on our terms, at our pace . . . We all react differently, and our own reactions will vary depending on the circumstances, mood and people we’re interacting with. When we’re triggered, our communication style can become defensive, whether in a passive, passive-aggressive or […]

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IN PRAISE OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION: HOW TO RESOLVE DISAGREEMENTS WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS AND AT WORK

Sometimes when I say that I teach conflict resolution the response is a quizzical look as the person waits for me to explain. Or perhaps they’re just looking at me funny and I still haven’t got the hint! So what does conflict resolution (CR) actually mean? And what effective tools does it provide for interpersonal […]

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HOW DOES THE GAZA-ISRAEL WAR AND OUR REACTIONS TO IT REFLECT IN OUR OWN CONFLICTS?

Like many I have been hugely saddened and horrified by events in Gaza. Throughout my reading and debates, on and off social sites, I noticed that there are three strands of opinions and information being shared. One supports and exacerbates the polarization of views and uses incendiary language and generalizations. Another seeks to breakdown those […]

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BOUNCING BACK: HOW DO YOU REACT WHEN YOU OR YOUR TEAMMATES MAKE A MISTAKE? DO YOU STAY STUCK IN RESENTMENT OR BOUNCE BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND?

  The other day I happened to pass by a football game and saw someone kick the ball out of play. Instantly there were groans from the pitch and a loud and matter-of-fact “Sorry!” from the player concerned.  I watched on as the ball was thrown back in and the players returned to their jobs. So […]

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Communication styles: when our defense mechanisms lead us into trouble and strife. What style are you and how assertive can you be?

  Our style of communication develops at an early age when we adopt defense mechanisms that we feel protect us from harm and punishment. This learning reflects our personality, self-esteem and it is adopted from our environment. In our adulthood these styles become instinctive defense mechanisms, conscious or unconscious modus operandi, and they rarely work… […]

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“This is your stuff!” Where does the buck stop and mindfulness begin?

It is said that no one else is responsible for how we interpret a situation and the feelings this raises in us. One type of response in these situations may be “This is your stuff”, or, if I’m owning it, I may say: ‘This is my stuff’.  In other words, this is a projection, or […]

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FORGIVENESS RELEASES US FROM ANY RESENTMENT WE MAY STILL HOLD; BUT WHAT ARE THE COSTS AND GAINS OF FORGIVING ANOTHER?

“Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future” Paul Boese Forgiveness means letting go of resentment and retaliation by recognizing that perpetuating the conflict only hurts us more. While an authentic apology can be effective in restoring interpersonal relations, forgiveness goes one step further; it enables healing and allows each person […]

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WHAT MAKES AN APOLOGY AUTHENTIC AND EFFECTIVE AS A RESOLUTION OF CONFLICT?

An apology is often regarded as providing closure to a conflict situation. But how it’s done and the reasons for giving it can either bring about resolution or further resentment. So what constitutes an authentic apology and why? And how can it be delivered effectively? One’s definition of an apology, like one’s attitude to conflict, […]

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